illustration inspired by Gemma Correll's "I like You" 
Today's post "How to turn insecurities into empowerment" by shifting two simple words. After reading this article I hope you feel capable and confident.

I recently read an article, it said "The only difference between success and failure is determined by how one deals with ones emotions." The better you are at understanding your emotions the more successful you are in life. 

Problem: We all have insecurities, we all doubt ourselves and have inner demons. These negative thoughts and feelings were triggered some how! Either from bullying, un appreciation while growing up or from work. Whatever it may be I want you to feel awesome after this post. I want you to know that after you shift your mind this way. You will feel empowered.

The 4 troubles.
1. They don't acknowledge me.
2. They don't accept me.
3. They don't love me.
4. They don't care.

I can't speak for everyone but I know many people have these 4 troubles, myself included. These four troubles are the root, the "mother" of insecurities. Many other insecurities stem from these. 

Lucky for us, insecurities stem from ourselves, it takes only ourselves to change it. We are the root cause of our own suffering.  The way to deal with any insecurity is to be brave, confront the problem, analyze the causes and then target the issue. We are able to achieve empowerment through courage and an open heart. We need to be able to see where our weakness lies,  How we can improve on those weaknesses and how we came to realize them. Life is too short to be controlled by our fears. Always try to be objective and analyze the situation with your intelligence.

You are the lead character in your story. This is not about narcissism or ego. I am speaking to those who feel ignored when they are in a group, afraid to speak up in fear of rejection, having your voice ignored deliberately and lastly sharing your thoughts only to feel "I shouldn't have spoken". Success stems from persistence, persistence comes from confidence and confidence is built on a positive supportive inner voice.

Never let other people be the author of your story. The lead character in the book or movie is the most valuable character. How can we be acknowledged or valued if we have chosen to be the shadow in our own story? How are other people supposed to "see" you, acknowledge you and value you if you keep changing price ranges? Don't devalue your worth, give yourself a good price. This is your story, your choices. By simply replacing "They" with "You" instantly the power and control has shifted.

I'm sure you've questioned why you matter. The answer is simple, because you've decided you matter. That's the crazy thing about value, no one can under value you if you stand firm. I know extremely talented individuals who sell themselves short. We all have different skills which are shaped from our life experiences. The only difference between someone with power and someone with less is how they have decided to brand themselves. We are our values. People give us a "price" based on how we've presented ourselves to the market. What price we've given ourselves. 

Why are CEO's naturally respected? Why are so many narcissists big bosses? Their confidence and their acknowledgement of themselves is their power. My boss could sell anything and someone would pay up. How did he do it? Confidence from the acknowledgment of oneself.

I know many of us aren't built in a way to "Love ourselves" and be "open about it. In fact quite the opposite, we pick on ourselves, compare ourselves and feel doubtful about our skills.

You don't need to be rude, ego centric or a narcissist to be a powerful figure. Truly confident individuals aren't "loud" they are content with themselves and their skills. They are open to criticism and listen to others. They aren't afraid of sticking up for themselves or others. We get defensive when people hit an insecurity of ours. When you've acknowledged yourself other peoples criticisms and negativities won't get to you. You will see right through narcissistic behavior and bullies. You will see it is a strategy. You will also be able to spot weak personalities who crave attention and why those types of individuals drain you. It's all about spotting personalities and the characters in your life.


Tell yourself:
They don't acknowledge me: I acknowledge me (You acknowledge you)
They don't accept me: I've accepted me (You accept you)
He/She/They don't love me: I love me (You love you)
They don't care: I care (You care)

That is empowering: Having control over your emotions and life.
 Don't forget that in your life there is only one friend you can always depend on.

That friend is you.

Love that friend,
Cherish that friend,
Be thankful of that friend
and never give up on that friend,
because if you keep believing,
your friend won't stop achieving,  
that is a guarantee. 

Learn to spot these shifts of power, when you catch yourself asking, why "they" don't acknowledge, accept, love or care. 

Always know that You acknowledge, accept, love and care. Yes It is good enough and valid enough even if it's only you. 


I decided to write this article to share how I cope with these problems. I get asked quite often, "how did you find that job?", "how do you just approach strangers for interviews/ street fashion?", "Aren't you afraid of rejection?", "how can you just make friends on the streets?", "how do you know that your business as a freelancer will workout?"

I don't, honestly.  Life is short, what have I got to lose?  So what if I get rejected! I think an important part about being your own author of your own story is getting to choose and pick the genre. Life without some risks makes a boring book, no climax, no tension. I like some action, I like excitement and that is the type of author I am. I'm sure some people would find me somewhat crazy and unstable, I travel around, hopping from place to place, meeting strangers. One day I'm teaching the next day I'm modelling, another day I'm designing. Their opinions are all valid but this is my book I wouldn't want to have it any other way because my book needs to be authentic and represent the person that I am.

I never conformed to "rules". There are too many rules to follow, so many opinions around, which one is right?  I believe in questioning everything. Questioning myself, questioning why I've decided to choose this option and not another,  asking myself why I feel down when I'm around a certain group of people, am I really not good enough or are we different kinds of people? It was never easy to face those insecurities but like any challenge. Once those challenges are faced, confidence is gained. It is empowering to know that every step of the way I am working hard on my own life. Every mistake I've made are mine. I don't have anyone to blame and it feels great. As long as I am living, this will be my motto: As Long as I am still living, I've always got chances! Never give up!

God has accepted you and when you also accept you that is all that it takes to begin this journey of empowerment.

Communities and connections with others help make our journeys better and exciting. You don't need someone to accept you in their community (it's nice but doesn't always happen). You can start building your own network of great and talented people. People who inspire you, push you and add value to your life. You can open your arms first to others. What have you got to lose? Create good communities wherever you go! Whenever you want.

Good luck!

My next article is : How to combine your talents to create a career and life of excitement and fulfillment?

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